Dinner time Discipline

Discipline is nothing new in our house, Jason and I began talking about it even before Gavin was born.  We wanted to have some rules, boundaries and consequences set in place so when it came time the two of us would be in complete agreement about the proper action.  HA!   We do agree on consistency first and foremost;  we both think spanking, (Gasp!) yes, spanking is appropriate for certain things but not for others.  The last thing we are in agreement about is, discipline needs to be consistent however the method is always evolving.

All of this came up the other night during dinner... let me give you the back story first. You see I have created a MONSTER! When Gavin was a little guy just beginning to eat table food(while Jason was in Medical school) , I fed him the same dinner that Jason and I were eating.  Then things changed, to be specific, Jason's schedule changed.  Dinner was no longer a family meal.  I would feed Gavin something simple, easy and usually uninspired (I ate junk usually.)  So add my lack of cooking to lots of traveling, living with family for six weeks, moving  and Jason's crazy intern schedule and you get one tired momma and a suddenly picky eater.  I have been making two dinners and just giving him what I knew he would eat not necessarily what he needed to eat.

Now, dinner the other night.  I made turkey spaghetti (which at one point Gavin loved!) Gavin knows what he wants and what he doesn't want, and he didn't want turkey spaghetti. We have been having a battle at dinner for a while, usually I cave and give him what he wants, chicken nuggets, fruit, mac and cheese. Well not any more.

Jason and I threatened everything from spanking and no playing with daddy to going to bed early.  He ate a couple of bites in response to those threats but it wasn't much, it took over 20 minutes for 3 bites.  Finally it dawned on me... what is the one thing this kids LOVES?  CHOCOLATE!  All I had to do was put a piece of chocolate in front of him and tell him he had to eat in order to get the chocolate.  That did the trick!  He ate the next bites fast and without hesitation. Voila, Bribery! (Although, I am pretty sure the proper name would be positive reinforcement.)

We use positive reinforcement all the time in other cases... cleaning his room, picking up toys, following directions...I guess it just never occurred to me to use it for dinner time too.  We will continue to use positive reinforcement at dinner until it no longer works, and we are forced to change our method yet again.

The lessons learned:
    1. Disobedience requires one form of discipline while not eating requires another.
    2. Discipline changes and grow same as the child.